The Woman Behind the Project

        I have been through a lot of love-hate relationships with myself in my life. I have grown as someone who believes that every woman has the ability to stand up for themselves, empower themselves, and make an impact — yet, on the other hand, is also struggling to find love and acceptance within herself before.

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        I was supposed to be born as a boy — well, from my parents’ expectations. Growing up in a male-dominated society, women were seen as weaker, fragile, and delicate. The ideal portrayal of a “woman” before was gentle and quiet. But ever since then, I knew I wasn’t going to settle in keeping that kind of image. I think it’s unfair for girls to have that much pressure in maintaining an “image” wherein they should be freed from unrealistic expectations and discrimination.

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       Since I was supposed to be a boy, I had times where I would want to be as strong as the guys in my room in terms of strength, like carrying chairs and opening lids of a water bottle. I just wanted to see myself as a strong person. Realizing that everything behind that was all wrong, I had to change my mindset positively. I have insecurities where I feel small and would belittle myself and my capabilities as a person just because I’m like this. I know that many female teenagers like me are also struggling with voicing out their opinions and voices — letting the world see and hear them. I believe wholeheartedly that we, as women can relate to one another and will be able to help and support each other in empowering ourselves.

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       In 7th grade, I started having pimples, which eventually led to acne during 8th grade. It was such a tough battle for me as I watched myself slowly avoiding any mirrors I’d pass by, and one day, all of my self-confidence was gone. I did not want to look at myself, yet I had to go to school everyday and meet people looking like this. Let’s be honest, people were still stuck with the mindset that having pimples and acne means you’re unhygienic. “Well, maybe if you wash your face more,” or something along the lines, “Maganda ka sana kung wala kang pimples,” they said. Going and meeting people while having that mindset that everyone was thinking like that didn’t help me at all. I would do everything to clear my face out and hide in the shadows. I had multiple breakdowns and questioned my worth as my face and skin became my greatest insecurities. As I didn’t want people to see me in that state, I resorted to always having my hair covering most of my face and letting only half or a small part of my face be seen when taking selfies and pictures. That affected me a lot as that’s how I viewed myself as a person. There was no self-love at all; I was ashamed of myself. Having no confidence within myself led to a mindset that I am less worthy of a person than others. I lost opportunities for not accepting myself at that time.

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       Currently, I am in 11th grade and can tell that my mindset and skin is in a much better condition. It was a long process and I’m still not completely healed but I have grown to be more confident with my own skin. However, up to this day, I still struggle to be confident with my own body. I feel bad for being mean to myself sometimes. I fall back many times, and it’s hard to keep picking up myself again. Although, I believe that learning to stand up for yourself in times where you feel down is what life’s supposed to be.

 

       I wanted to emphasize that by not accepting and being confident with myself, I lost a lot of opportunities and am not bringing out my full potential as to how I viewed myself as a woman before. I encourage every one of you to challenge yourself and have confidence. It’ll completely change you for the better.